Emotional infidelity among lesbian
Not all infidelity is sexual in nature. At the other end is what we call emotional infidelity. And among the sexes, lesbians are most prone to this kind of infidelity due to the very thin line between friendship and romance among women who love women.
What is emotional infidelity?
The website PsychCentral.com notes that “emotional cheating is far more destructive to a lesbian relationship than physical infidelity. It can go much further before it is acknowledged because the line between ‘friendship’ and ‘emotionally intimate relationship’ is often blurred.”
On the other hand, there’s a clear definition on the decorum of a man and a woman getting too close to each other. The school of thought in the film When Harry Met Sally is that opposite sexes can never be friends. This relationship will eventually turn romantic, whether only one partner has deeper feelings or both of them.
But when it comes to two women, who’s to say the intimacy between them is becoming a little too friendly, especially when no sexual contact is involved?
When are you being emotionally unfaithful?
Before anything else, let’s characterize what emotional infidelity is. Huffington Post identifies it as: “when one partner goes outside the primary relationship to get his or her emotional needs met” (though it also said this “is more and more common than you might imagine”).
For lesbians, it could be that your girlfriend starts opening up her innermost thought to someone else other than you. She could be spending a lot of time with this “friend” on the phone, texting or being physically together.
Checklist for emotional infidelity
While this could border on regular friendship, there are three clear signs when boundaries are crossed:
1. She starts lying about the other girl.
2. She does things for this friend that she never did for other friends.
3. There’s constant communication.
For yourself, you’re already emotionally cheating on your girlfriend when:
1. You can’t stop thinking of this friend.
2. You are excited on your next meetup.
3. When asked about her, you become uncomfortable.
4. You start comparing her to your girlfriend.
While emotional cheating is harder to prove as opposed to sexual infidelity, it’s considered more destructive for lesbians. Emotional infidelity should be treated the same way as any other types of cheating. Nip it in the bud before it happens. Or, if it’s already happening, work it out with your girlfriend if you still can.