Lesbian relationship arguments: What do we fight about?
But while lesbians have to struggle with other things– social discrimination and the continuous fight for normalized same-sex marriage, among other things– we also have to deal relationship arguments.
It’s not all love and romance with us. Here are a few arguments that rock the boat:
Lesbian relationship arguments #1: Expectations
In a survey done last year by Autostraddle, topping the list of what lesbians fight about was expectations in a relationship.
Maybe it’s because we really think lesbian relationships are all love and romance. But there’s more expectations in the mix.
When we go into a lesbian relationship, especially if it’s our first, we don’t expect there would still be arguments and heartbreaks.
Lesbian relationship arguments #2: Shame
This is one of the most sensitive issues among us: your partner can’t tell the truth about your real role in her life.
It doesn’t mean that when we’re in a lesbian relationship, we aren’t hiding in the closet anymore. A lot of lesbians still haven’t come out.
Some of us are still uneasy about being in a lesbian relationship that we keep it hidden from friends and family.
It becomes a source of arguments because of shame.
Lesbian relationship arguments #3: Sex
Ironically, the idea of “lesbian bed death” is actually true in a lot of relationships, BOTH lesbian and straight.
In movies alone, the husband usually complains that he and the wife barely have sex anymore. In that sense, a lot of relationship arguments do revolve around sex (or the lack thereof).
In the case of lesbians, this becomes a bigger problem when one partner is on anti-depressants, which affect the libido.
The stress of being a lesbian, let’s admit it, has made some of us turn to drugs or alcohol.
Lesbian relationship arguments #4: Social support
As we said in the beginning, lesbians have a lot of social struggles. Being human, we also struggle with relationship problems.
Now, many of the heterosexual relationship arguments are lessened because they have social support from family and friends.
But with lesbian relationships, most of us find we can’t complain about our problems because we chose this kind of relationship.
This societal isolation causes friction within the relationship.
Lesbian relationship arguments #5: Family
In relation to that, lesbians fight when we don’t have the support of our families.
Imagine family gatherings where you can’t bring your partner, or your mother mistreating your girlfriend. Or even being disowned by your family for being a lesbian!
Unsupportive families are one of the major issues that affect a lesbian relationship.